The Wicked Step Mother

Okay. So when I started dating Kevin and realized he had kids, I thought I love kids and I’ve always wanted to be a mom. Being a step mom would be a breeze. (not so much) Being a step mom is the hardest thing I have ever done. When Leah, Gavin, and Cade all lived with us… saying it was difficult would be an understatement. Leah was the one who I believe still deep down wanted her mom and dad to get back together, therefore making me the enemy. Gavin was the golden child. No. Really. He is the best kid I’ve ever seen. Leah always said he did things he wasn’t supposed to when we weren’t looking, but like I used to tell Leah, at least he has enough since to do it behind our backs. Cade is my ticket to heaven. Now that Leah and Gavin live with their mom, I am pretty much Cade’s only mother figure. He is such a loving child, but extremely hard to get. He is very smart. As far as common since, he definitely lacks it. Which doesn’t mean I love him any less. It just means there is a lot of counting to 10 and breathing techniques when it comes to handling Cade. Which brings me to the problem. Cade has always had a hard time focusing on anything for any amount of time. His dad and I thought he more than likely has ADD. The fact that he controlled it constituted our decision for not putting him on any medication. The past year on the other hand, he has not been able to control it. Kevin and I talked about this extensively. I also talked to Cade’s mom and we all agreed that it’s time to take the next step and consider getting medication. I don’t know if I have noticed it more since we have talked about it, but I am hanging on by a thread waiting until Cade’s appointment on Jan. 26th. (Scenario) Yesterday I stayed at home because I was (am) sick… again. Unfortunately, I was sick on a school holiday because Cade was home with me. Not that I don’t enjoy his company. Well let me move on and explain. I ordered Chinese food for Cade and I for lunch. Well because of my pounding headache I had all the lights turned off except the lamp in the living room. I was preparing our food and noticed that it was really dark in the kitchen. I asked Cade to turn on the light. Okay. He was in the kitchen with me. He saw that it was dark and the light needed to be turned on. He walked into the living room where no one was who needed no light overhead and turned on the light. I just stood there in amazement. Why on earth would he think I meant the living room light? Is that a boy thing? A 10 year old thing? Or Cade not listening again thing? I told Kevin later that day. Which it was funny then. I just made an observation at how ludicrous that was. Maybe it was just me being the wicked step mother I’m sometimes made out to be. Kevin treats me like I pick on Cade. I don’t pick on Cade. I talk to Kevin about my concerns and he acts as if I’m attacking Cade. I want him to treat me like a mother to Cade instead of the evil stepmother. I’m hoping when we talk to the doctor we can get some of this worked out. I have even read up on the subject, I talked to Cade about it so he didn’t feel left out, and explained to him that it’s not his fault. It’s simply something he can’t control. Kevin looses his patients with Cade a lot, but for some reason when I lose mine, it’s wrong of me. I’m the evil step mother. I just wish Kevin would be on my side on this so we can deal with it together. Am I wrong? I do love Cade. That's why I'm trying to figure out the best solution for him. I don't want to get frustrated with him. I just wish Kevin believed in me more.